Simultaneously, I am both a Grammar Nazi, and not a Grammar Nazi. I live in a state of linguisto-quantum flux. Some days, I explode with anger towards people who can't seem to press a couple buttons consecutively in a legible way. Other days, I rock the lulz like a boss. It seems, then, I am also a hypocrite.
But am I? Is it okay for me to type incorrectly, and yet rage at others?
Yes. It's my divine fucking right to do so, because as you can see, I type like a secretary from the 70s. There's no number that accurately represents how many words per minute I can type, people.
Okay, okay. Let me flesh this out for a second. I understand that many social networking sites have character limits, and most include spaces to be a character. By shorthanding our typing in a way that remains comprehensible, people are able to communicate in an extremely efficient manner, capable of getting across more information that if you, say, type like this. I get that. Completely. But, for the hordes of people who do choose to type that way, the vast majority of them can't type properly. Hell, for many of the kids, they can't even write with a pen or pencil properly.*
Anecdote: During a literacy class, focusing on writing speeches, I was editing one of my students' speeches. And it was an awesome speech. Can't remember the topic offhand, but I must have listened to it a good twenty times, the speech constantly holding my interest. One of the points of the criteria was a script, done in good copy, with proper structure, grammar, punctuation and spelling. Needless to say, I wanted to spit my eyes with a pen when I say a page laden with internet patois*. I don't care if you litter a friend's wall saying "wen r we goin 2 da mall?". I don't. But when it's on an assignment worth a chunk of your literacy grade, which you may or may not care about? Come on, kid. Get your shit together. The hell do you have a cell phone at 11 for, anyways?
End of anecdote.
There's a time and a place, people. Not on work reports. Not on school reports. Not in a science journal, or any journal article. Not on a blog. Not in an essay of any kind, personal or otherwise. Not in a book, unless it's intended due to the context of the novel, poem, etc. Hell, not even on most forums. Save it for Facebook, and social networking sites, where you don't care that you come across looking uneducated. Internet forums, fine. Youtube, ...well, it's a sinkhole anyways.
The point of proper writing is to make your information communicable. I suppose that's fallen into the annals of history, along with the quill pen (Hipster acquisition #25), and paisley. But shift back to something like Youtube, or a forum, where people regularly engage in flaming wars, or baseless insulting. If you can't type properly, you're in no place to judge someone's intelligence. Hell, even Tucker Max writes properly, and he's a self-admitted douchebag. You're better than a douchebag, aren't you?
I suppose, finally, what really irks me is the following: I was on a tv streaming site a few months ago, and it has a built in Chatango chatroom, you know, to speak with other viewers, share awesome shows, pictures, anything. I was typing something to someone, and a random user asked me why I typed the way I did. I responded, as usual, that I simply type properly, from years of practicing while I gamed online. I had the opportunity to learn to do something extremely well, while playing a friggin' game. It just seemed smart. I believe his response bordered on me being homosexual, as well as my typing, and that it was weird and I was stupid for typing the way I did.
Needless to say, the rageohol in my system started bubbling, and he was trapped in a cage of rage.
So, yes. After all I've gone through, I reserve the right to type however the hell I want, at any time I want, because I know how to do it properly. I also reserve the right to berate, intimidate, lambast, and shakedown anyone who comments upon the way I type, when they themselves restrict their text to nothing more than internet patois.
And finally, I get to slam into people who choose to write poorly, due to nothing more than sheer laziness.
Capisce?
With love,
Rageaholic
*"Internet patois", as I've dubbed it, likely started with 9-button based text messaging, as it took an extremely long time to type properly. The introduction of T-9 was meant to make it easier, alas...
But am I? Is it okay for me to type incorrectly, and yet rage at others?
Yes. It's my divine fucking right to do so, because as you can see, I type like a secretary from the 70s. There's no number that accurately represents how many words per minute I can type, people.
Okay, okay. Let me flesh this out for a second. I understand that many social networking sites have character limits, and most include spaces to be a character. By shorthanding our typing in a way that remains comprehensible, people are able to communicate in an extremely efficient manner, capable of getting across more information that if you, say, type like this. I get that. Completely. But, for the hordes of people who do choose to type that way, the vast majority of them can't type properly. Hell, for many of the kids, they can't even write with a pen or pencil properly.*
Anecdote: During a literacy class, focusing on writing speeches, I was editing one of my students' speeches. And it was an awesome speech. Can't remember the topic offhand, but I must have listened to it a good twenty times, the speech constantly holding my interest. One of the points of the criteria was a script, done in good copy, with proper structure, grammar, punctuation and spelling. Needless to say, I wanted to spit my eyes with a pen when I say a page laden with internet patois*. I don't care if you litter a friend's wall saying "wen r we goin 2 da mall?". I don't. But when it's on an assignment worth a chunk of your literacy grade, which you may or may not care about? Come on, kid. Get your shit together. The hell do you have a cell phone at 11 for, anyways?
End of anecdote.
There's a time and a place, people. Not on work reports. Not on school reports. Not in a science journal, or any journal article. Not on a blog. Not in an essay of any kind, personal or otherwise. Not in a book, unless it's intended due to the context of the novel, poem, etc. Hell, not even on most forums. Save it for Facebook, and social networking sites, where you don't care that you come across looking uneducated. Internet forums, fine. Youtube, ...well, it's a sinkhole anyways.
The point of proper writing is to make your information communicable. I suppose that's fallen into the annals of history, along with the quill pen (Hipster acquisition #25), and paisley. But shift back to something like Youtube, or a forum, where people regularly engage in flaming wars, or baseless insulting. If you can't type properly, you're in no place to judge someone's intelligence. Hell, even Tucker Max writes properly, and he's a self-admitted douchebag. You're better than a douchebag, aren't you?
I suppose, finally, what really irks me is the following: I was on a tv streaming site a few months ago, and it has a built in Chatango chatroom, you know, to speak with other viewers, share awesome shows, pictures, anything. I was typing something to someone, and a random user asked me why I typed the way I did. I responded, as usual, that I simply type properly, from years of practicing while I gamed online. I had the opportunity to learn to do something extremely well, while playing a friggin' game. It just seemed smart. I believe his response bordered on me being homosexual, as well as my typing, and that it was weird and I was stupid for typing the way I did.
Needless to say, the rageohol in my system started bubbling, and he was trapped in a cage of rage.
So, yes. After all I've gone through, I reserve the right to type however the hell I want, at any time I want, because I know how to do it properly. I also reserve the right to berate, intimidate, lambast, and shakedown anyone who comments upon the way I type, when they themselves restrict their text to nothing more than internet patois.
And finally, I get to slam into people who choose to write poorly, due to nothing more than sheer laziness.
Capisce?
With love,
Rageaholic
*"Internet patois", as I've dubbed it, likely started with 9-button based text messaging, as it took an extremely long time to type properly. The introduction of T-9 was meant to make it easier, alas...
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