No. Stop. Shut the fuck up for a second and listen. Because I know what your open, gaping mouth is about to say.
Eat whatever the fuck you want. That's cool, B. But don't get pissy. If you're going to be a vegetarian, let's get some real names going. I don't know what makes my inner wrath grow more: judgmental selective-dieters who judge others by what they eat (Group A), or the vegetarians, or even vegans, who can't even properly define their diet (Group B).
Quick lesson in Vegeterianomics, people.
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Vegetarians can be broken down into an enigmatically large number of specific food consuming groups. You can see how confusion over a pescetarian versus an ovo-lacto vegetarian might drive people up a wall, when, say, a fish dinner is being made for a dinner party.
So, if you're a vegetarian, and you were too stupid to figure out what kind, follow Rageoholic's Guide to Alternative Eating Styles.
Pescetarian: You eat everything but meat. Fish included. When you think of the word "vegetarian", this is what you think of.
Ovo-lacto Vegetarian: Ovo = Egg, Lacto = Lactose = Milk. These holistic bad boys eat just about everything, so as long as it isn't meat. I believe this means they will not eat shellfish or fish, as well, so in this context, meat is simply the flesh of any animal. At least you won't fuck up my generous offer of meatless omelettes.
Ovo-lactos can be broken down into Ovo-vegetarians, and Lacto-vegetarians. Infer at your own discretion.
Now we fall into those real freaks, the Vegans. This is where it can get ridiculous, just based on sheer lack of awareness, or importance, to these diets. At this point, I'd like to dedicate this article to my friend Celia, the coolest vegan I know. You know why? Because she explains how she eats without being condescending. And we're off.
Vegans: Won't touch it if it comes from animals in any way. Includes milk, eggs, cheese, anything from an animal.
Raw veganism: Everything you eat is raw, plain and simple. Same dietary needs as above. Apparently, you can partially cook some of the food. Weird fucking restriction, if I may say so myself.
Fruititarian: Same as above, except you can't hurt the plant with your collecting of food. Unclear whether or not this includes vegetables.
Macro/microbiotic diets: I...don't even know where to begin.
So, Group A, you can go to Hell, and Group B? Pick something from this list, or a more fully defined list, and stick to it. Stop using the word "Vegetarian" because it's annoying and confusing as shit, as well as being inaccurate, since you don't only eat vegetables.
Now, you'll have to excuse me, I have a plate of bacon that needs tending to, while I indulge myself in the exploits of the global Mafia.
With bountiful love,
Rageoholic
Eat whatever the fuck you want. That's cool, B. But don't get pissy. If you're going to be a vegetarian, let's get some real names going. I don't know what makes my inner wrath grow more: judgmental selective-dieters who judge others by what they eat (Group A), or the vegetarians, or even vegans, who can't even properly define their diet (Group B).
Quick lesson in Vegeterianomics, people.
---
Vegetarians can be broken down into an enigmatically large number of specific food consuming groups. You can see how confusion over a pescetarian versus an ovo-lacto vegetarian might drive people up a wall, when, say, a fish dinner is being made for a dinner party.
So, if you're a vegetarian, and you were too stupid to figure out what kind, follow Rageoholic's Guide to Alternative Eating Styles.
Pescetarian: You eat everything but meat. Fish included. When you think of the word "vegetarian", this is what you think of.
Ovo-lacto Vegetarian: Ovo = Egg, Lacto = Lactose = Milk. These holistic bad boys eat just about everything, so as long as it isn't meat. I believe this means they will not eat shellfish or fish, as well, so in this context, meat is simply the flesh of any animal. At least you won't fuck up my generous offer of meatless omelettes.
Ovo-lactos can be broken down into Ovo-vegetarians, and Lacto-vegetarians. Infer at your own discretion.
Now we fall into those real freaks, the Vegans. This is where it can get ridiculous, just based on sheer lack of awareness, or importance, to these diets. At this point, I'd like to dedicate this article to my friend Celia, the coolest vegan I know. You know why? Because she explains how she eats without being condescending. And we're off.
Vegans: Won't touch it if it comes from animals in any way. Includes milk, eggs, cheese, anything from an animal.
Raw veganism: Everything you eat is raw, plain and simple. Same dietary needs as above. Apparently, you can partially cook some of the food. Weird fucking restriction, if I may say so myself.
Fruititarian: Same as above, except you can't hurt the plant with your collecting of food. Unclear whether or not this includes vegetables.
Macro/microbiotic diets: I...don't even know where to begin.
So, Group A, you can go to Hell, and Group B? Pick something from this list, or a more fully defined list, and stick to it. Stop using the word "Vegetarian" because it's annoying and confusing as shit, as well as being inaccurate, since you don't only eat vegetables.
Now, you'll have to excuse me, I have a plate of bacon that needs tending to, while I indulge myself in the exploits of the global Mafia.
With bountiful love,
Rageoholic
read this eating fried chicken. Loving it.
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